{"id":7343,"date":"2023-10-12T06:15:03","date_gmt":"2023-10-12T11:15:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thefeistynews.com\/?p=7343"},"modified":"2023-10-12T06:15:37","modified_gmt":"2023-10-12T11:15:37","slug":"my-second-marriage-is-different-we-are-a-team","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thefeistynews.com\/my-second-marriage-is-different-we-are-a-team\/","title":{"rendered":"My second marriage is different, we are a team: Life after divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was 19 years old when I met my first partner and had never really had a proper relationship before. I grew up in the UK and he was from New Zealand. Compared to me I thought he was terribly mature and worldly wise. In comparison, my life had been very sheltered and I barely knew how to boil an egg or peel a potato! We had only been together four months when he asked me to go back to NZ with him. I was already pursuing a career in travel but this was even more than I ever dreamed of! I jumped at the chance to leave ‘boring’ England and start my life in a new country, on the opposite side of the world.<\/p>\n

This was in 1992 and we decided to get married in 1994. We were both 21 and I had my doubts. To be honest, I felt rather like a dog at times, always doing as I was told and receiving a pat on the head when I was a ‘good girl’. He put me down a lot and I had become very isolated. But the wedding was to be in England and my family and all my friends and people in the tiny village I had left behind were super excited. I felt like Cinderella in their eyes and didn’t want to shatter their illusion.<\/p>\n

In the end, I stayed in that marriage until 2013 – a classic case of staying for the sake of the children. My sons were 14 and 16 and I had hoped to be able to hang in there until they had both left home but I reached the stage where I had actually thought of faking my own death, Julia Roberts style. In hindsight we were both far too young to get married and there were many red flags I did either not see or act upon. I hadn’t grown into myself as a person yet, had no life experience and as I began to grow and evolve, particularly once I became a mother and grew more of a backbone, my\u00a0husband<\/span> didn’t like it and did his utmost to try and hinder or control me.<\/p>\n

Things Change<\/h3>\n

My marriage ended in 2013 and I met my\u00a0second<\/span>\u00a0husband<\/span> in 2015. At that time I had just come into my own as a person. I was raising my boys solo, one was at university and the other fast approaching adulthood. For the first time in my life I was completely comfortable in my own skin and not looking to meet anyone at all. In fact I had totally resigned myself to spending the rest of my life alone and I was OK with that.<\/p>\n