Big News for Messy Queers: ‘The Ultimatum: Queer Love’ Is Casting Again

Did you watch four couples break up on television and still think to yourself, “That should have been me?” Good news, you gay agents of chaos: Netflix is casting for The Ultimatum: Queer Love season two.

According to a new casting call from the online agency Casting Crane, Netflix is looking for couples who are at the “ready to marry or move on” stage to audition for the queer-themed spin-off’s second salvo next year. The casting call doesn’t specify exactly what qualifies someone to be a member of the cast but if it’s anything like season one, queer women, lesbians, and nonbinary people are the target demo.

Applicants need to be available between February 12 and April 10, 2024, so now we know when producers expect to begin filming. (Astrology queers everywhere just let out a sigh of relief as they realized Mercury won’t be in retrograde like it was during September and October 2021, when season one was being filmed.)

All you have to do is fill out a form that asks for more than 50 pieces of information about yourself and your partner, from your employment and vaccination status to what kind of mess you’ll bring to the table. For example, have you been to therapy? How did you fall in love? “Do you wonder if the grass is greener with someone else?” You’ll also need to provide links to all your social media profiles and your partner’s too, so maybe go back through those old tweets and make sure there’s nothing in there you wouldn’t want the grossest person on the internet to know about.

If you achieve your wildest dreams, get cast, and become a new parasocial obsession for terminally online TikTok gays, remember to hold out on signing a contract until the Hollywood strikes officially end. The Ultimatum’s new cast members could be covered in new agreements between unions and production companies, if one is reached before next year.

SAG-AFTRA confirmed to CNN in August that union representatives have met with lawyers and reality industry heavyweight Bethenny Frankel to discuss “a new path to Union coverage” for those who currently fall outside its purview. (Negotiations on a new WGA agreement restarted this week after months of standoffs, but the union has not officially commented on how well they’re going; despite employing writing staff, most reality shows are considered “unscripted” and aren’t covered by the WGA.)

All we’re saying is that if you’re going to sign up for Maybe We’ll Break Up Publicly: The Show, at least make sure you secure the bag and don’t be a complete scab about it. Also, consider being a Mal, not a Vanessa. We’re not asking for a lot here.

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