A recent study published in the Psychology of Women Quarterly stated that the invalidation of feminism is driven by the trope that feminists are man-hating lesbians. According to the study, the prevailing stereotype of feminists as being anti-men persists, even among individuals who call themselves feminist, but it is a myth.
It is quite understandable to conclude that feminists hate men when one of the benchmarks of feminism is calling for equality for the genders, which involves constantly looking for inequality and screaming out to bring attention to the injustice. When feminist women consistently aim to point out the injustice against women we see perpetuated by men in our society, we are perceived just as we are, angry and irritated.
Our consistent frustration with this self-sabotaging patriarchal society may lead everyone to believe that we hate men, but we do not. Feminists don’t hate men, we are just disappointed in them.
The disappointment we feel about gender inequality in our society stems from the knowledge that we believe men know better. It is our belief in the rational nature of men that leads us to frustration. For feminist women, engaging in our society is like watching a man try to ride a bicycle perched on cement blocks. Come on; you know better than that.
The fact that feminists believe men know better and still choose not to do better leads us to become annoyed with men in general. It leads us to wonder if men truly know better or if something is a little off about them mentally. Generally observing their behavior leads us to pity them. How can a woman love and respect a man she feels sorry for?
The idea that feminists are all lesbians is hilarious and false. Men incorrectly assume that just because a woman does not want to be in love with a man, she wants to be in love with a woman. This is not true. Feminists who choose not to romantically involve themselves with men are not automatically attracted to women, but we do appreciate women on a level that men are not socially allowed to experience with other men for fear of being called weak. Appreciating women does not automatically initiate you into the alphabet crew.
In a thorough examination of my own feminist feelings of disappointment towards most men, I recognize that they really stem from my own patriarchal brainwashing and belief that men should be proud protectors and saviors to women. Watching men take advantage, take control and abuse the system to subjugate women feels like watching your favorite supermodel pick her nose at the dinner table. Eww. You’re supposed to be better than that. You can only be disappointed in someone when you have high expectations of them.
No, feminists don’t hate men; we are just sad that they are not the heroic leaders they have tried to convince us they are.
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